Happy Thanksgiving! We hare at Hardcore Christian Men are thankful for you, our readers. I hope that you are thankful for something or someone in your life. Why don’t you let us know what you are thankful for?
So whether you are having dinner with a big family
or a small one
I hope you enjoy your Thanksgiving! We will see you again soon.
I recently had a reader ask me about Christian dating. It made me think. While I was Christian when I met and dated my wife, I wasn’t worried about what the Bible said about dating. I just wanted to get Laura to marry me. Many single men are this way, or worse, they only worry about how to get a girl into bed with them. The question of dating as Christians is one that most of us will face.
I’m going to start this discussion with a small bit about singleness and celibacy. Throughout scripture we find several references to staying single and celibate. The reason I say single and celibate is that in order to remain single, we must also remain celibate. This is a very difficult thing. Many Christians come to the Church after already having had sex. Many Christians stumble or fall in their walk. We all face this battle, and I’m no different than the rest of us. In Matthew 19:11-12, Jesus tells us this, “Not everyone can accept this statement, except those to whom it has been given. 19:12 For there are some eunuchs who were that way from birth,and some who were made eunuchs by others,and some who became eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who is able to accept this should accept it.” The reason I share this with you is that it tells us how to determine if we are supposed to remain single and celibate. Are you called to remain single? If you do not feel a calling to singleness, then you must consider what Christian dating entails. How are we as Christian men to find our future wife? I have a lot of thoughts on this, and I am researching more, but to start, I want to take a poll of you. Let us know your thoughts and we’ll continue this discussion soon.
Until the Whole World Knows,
Paul
If you’ve been reading for a while then you may have noticed that I am a bit of a fan of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. To me, these men show the works what it means to be a man when under fire. They did not falter or waver in their faith, in fact they declared it even more clearly. The statement that stands out to me is this one, from Daniel 3:17-18: “Ifour God whom we are serving exists, he is able to rescue us from the furnace of blazing fire, and he will rescue us, O king, from your power as well. But if not, let it be known to you, O king, that we don’t serve your gods, and we will not pay homage to the golden statue that you have erected.” In reading through Daniel 3, Nebuchadnezzar, the king of Babylon, has built a golden statue that all are required to bow down and worship when the music plays. Nebuchadnezzar includes a punishment if anyone refuses, to be immediately cast into the fiery furnace.
When Daniel talks about a “fiery furnace,” it is referring to a kiln for firing of ceramics like bricks. These kilns were upwards of 1000° C. Because of the urgency of Nebuchadnezzar’s order to burn these three, the guards turned the fire up so high that when Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were escorted to the kiln, the guards burst into flame themselves. I imagine these kilns, or furnaces, were emitting heat at near 2000° C. Yet even with the heat killing the Babylonian guards, our three Israelites stood in the flames and came to no harm, even having a fourth being join them in the fires.
There are many guesses who this fourth being was. Some scholars say that it was Michael, the Archangel, others say Gabriel, and some say that Nebuchadnezzar’s own words may tell us. He described “the appearance of the fourth is like that of a god!” I wonder if it’s too much to believe the fourth figure that Nebuchadnezzar saw was the Son of God, or even the Father himself? Scripture tells us the Jesus was there in the beginning, why could he not have appeared to protect Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego?
Lets look back at that statement that was made by our three heroes before being cast into the fire. To sum it up into a short statement: God can save us, but if he chooses not to, we still follow him. God did save them, but the fact that the belief of these three men was fully independent of what God did or did not do is what makes this story most powerful. When faced with a choice of death or leaving God, they chose death. Would you?
Would you step into the fire…
or will you turn from God?
Until the Whole World Knows,
Paul
I recently finished No More Christian Nice Guy by Paul Coughlin. This is an excellent book for the modern Christian man. Coughlin’s book has a forward by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. For those of you who aren’t familiar with Dr. Laura, she’s a radio talkshow psych who pushes tough love and esposes many of the viewpoints that we talk about here. The thing that made me pay attention to her is the fact that she is Jewish, and she gave a great forward for a book written to Christian Men.
In No More Christian Nice Guy, Coughlin uses a systematic approach to the “Nice Guy” problem. In 13 chapters and just over 220 pages, Coughlin first shows the damage that the Church is causing by raising boys to be Christian Nice Guys (CNGs) and a way to reverse this damage. By examining the causes of this phenomenon, Coughlin helps the reader to understand the mistakes in the ways Christian boys are raised. One of the chapters which stood out to me quickly was “We’re Men, Not Eunuchs.” Overall, the message of this book is that Christian Men have been warped and twisted from the image that Jesus shows us in scripture into weak echoes of what God intends. We as men must stand up and reverse this trend.
Reading this book helped me to better understand the hurdles that I face as a man in the Church today. THere are two main types of men in the Church today, the weak CNGs, and the manipulative ones that aren’t so easy to identify. As we teach our boys to avoid conflict and run from confrontation, the manipulators move in to take over. The CNGs overwhelming need to avoid problems and be nice means that they won’t stand up for themselves, thier families, or thier beliefs. You and I both know the feeling, and I’ve been the CNG. It’s the reason I left the Church. I returned because I learned the Jesus was not the bearded woman that I was taught about as a kid, but that Jesus is The Man that I want to follow. Paul Coughlin tackles this very subject. He gives guidance on how to escape the CNG mold and become the powerful and assertive man of God that you were created to be.
Coughlin’s in depth exploration of the subject helps shed light on the subject that many have avoided. I encourage No More Christian Nice Guy to anyone who battles with being a Christian Nice Guy or anyone who wants to help break the mold.
http://www.amazon.com/No-More-Christian-Nice-Guy/dp/B0013L4DP8
One of the questions I get asked is what I do to releve my stress. Working with my hands is an amazing stress relief.
Have you ever swung a hammer just for the pleasure of swinging it? What about running a whetstone down the blade of a knife, or drawing a sawblade across a board? The feel of working with my hands is one of those pure pleasures that I retreat to from time to time.
It’s not just the product of the work that relieves me either. It’s the smell of sawdust, the sound of the saw cutting through the wood, and the feeling of rough lumber becoming smooth. I love knowing that not only is the tension between my shoulders being relieved, the stress is being used to create something that I can look at for years to come. If you look at the things I have built, you can tell if it was a stress relief or just because we needed it. Nails or screws tell you this. If I want to relieve stress, I’ll use nails. There is just something about feeling the impact of the hammer on the nail head as the sharp ping cries out. I use screws when something needs to be done quickly.
Here’s the question for you to think about. What do you do to relieve stress? As men, we need stress relief. While we don’t run and hide from conflict like the modern Church often teaches, we also don’t seek it out. Because of this, we must be ready for the stress that comes from conflict, and also the stress when we actively seek to mollify instead of defeat a conflict. There are times when we will delay a conflict in order to protect someone, and this causes stress. There are also times when we are unable to reach a result that we find satisfactory. So what do we do with the stress from these events?
I’ve already told you one of the things I do, woodwork. Another thing I do is climb on my Harley for a ride. I also write. Each of these gives me a different kind of relief. A long ride on the Harley is great to leave my stress behind. It gives me time to release my thoughts and enter a world that is just me, the bike, and the road. Writing lets me put my stress or the things that cause the stress down on paper. Sometimes this can lead to a post here, or simply an entry in my personal writings, but it always leads to relief. Woodwork though, it allows me to combine pleasure with the work of relieving the stress while producing something.
Here’s my challenge to you, find something that relieves your stress that gives you a permanent product. Let me know how it works for you.
Oh…And Jesus swung a hammer for quite a few years, and we don’t read about him having any stress issues, do we?
Until the Whole World Knows,
Paul
A few days ago I posted this: Men Wanted and promised more info. Here it is!
Ernest Shackleton was looking for 27 men, what he got was 5000 applicants. In 1914, 5000 men were so tired of the life that they had been living that they applied for Shakleton’s journey. These men were so hungry for a challenge that scientists, sailors, and tradesmen alike applied.
What is the challenge that would activate this kind of masculinity in today’s Christian Man?
Shakleton knew not only how to speak to a man’s need for challenge and adventure, but also how to lead his men.
“Shackleton’s first thought was for the men under him. He didn’t care if he went without a shirt on his back so long as the men he was leading had sufficient clothing.” –Lionel Greenstreet, First Officer
This is the leadership that we as Hardcore Christian Men must show. This is the challenge we must rise to. God calls us to be men and lead our families and the Church.
What areas do you see in your local church that need leadership?
The Sacrifice of Isaac
In today’s world, sacrifice is often misunderstood. Jesus sacrificed His life for ours. Most Medal of Honor recipients have given thier lives, or risked it, for their brothers and for complete strangers. I’ve heard countless stories of everyday people jumping in front of a car to save a stranger, or in front of a bullet to save the store clerk. I don’t think anyone would argue that these men and women know what sacrifice is.
But sacrifice doesn’t have to be your life. What is sacrifice for you?
Until the Whole World Knows,
Paul
“YOU WANT THE TRUTH! YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!”
Ever since Jack Nicholson said that line in A Few Good Men it has been one of the most quoted lines in man movie history. It ranks right up there with “I think you need a bigger boat” and “I coulda been a contender.” And all of these quotes capture an inate inborn hunger of man, the hunger to be tough. The desire to be able to handle any difficulty that comes our way. The want to be a “man.”
The Truth is, only in following in the walk of Christ can you truly be a man.
The Truth is that it’s not an easy walk. Of all of the worlds religions, only Christianity demands so much for asking so little up front.
The Truth is that only the toughest man can truly answer the call.
The Truth is that every man is given the ability at birth to answer the call.
If you are here and you are still reading, you know that the one calling is God, but what exactly is he calling you too?
Jesus tells us pretty clearly that we are being called to pain, persecution, and hatred. John 15: 18-25 reads: 18 “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. 19 If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. 20 Remember what I told you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. 21 They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the one who sent me. 22 If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not be guilty of sin; but now they have no excuse for their sin. 23 Whoever hates me hates my Father as well. 24 If I had not done among them the works no one else did, they would not be guilty of sin. As it is, they have seen, and yet they have hated both me and my Father. 25 But this is to fulfill what is written in their Law: ‘They hated me without reason.’
So let me ask you. Are you tough enough for the truth of what he has called you to. Are you ready to be persecuted? Are you ready to be hated? Are you ready to reveal the world’s sins to it to suffer for the revelation?
Until the Whole World Knows,
Paul
It’s a funny thing about duty. It doesn’t matter what you do, it sticks with you. I’ve learned about duty my whole life. At the age of 6, I became a Tiger Cub, and I learned the Cub Scout Promise. Here it is for those of you who never nearned it:
I, <Paul>, promise to do my best to do my duty to God and my country, to help other people, and to obey the law of the pack.
And only a few years later, at 11 I became a Boy Scout, learning a whole new oath:
On my honor, I will do my best to do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Scout Law, to help other people at all times; To keep myself physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight.
Here, I want to point out, the Boy Scout oath is usually considered 3 oaths:
I lived these oaths for 7 years until I was awarded with Eagle Scout just before my 18th birthday. Just 2 years later I shipped to Basic Combat Training at Fort Benning, Ga. and learned a whole new promise. I made an even more binding oath, this one didn’t say “duty” but it is definately implied.
I, (NAME), do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.
I also had to learn the Army Values
Loyalty, Duty, Respect, Selfless Service, Honor, Integrity, and Personal Courage
Notice the second one there. Duty. Seems it won’t leave me alone. So what is my duty? All of these mention God, so I’m pretty sure He figures in. Over the next few days I’m going to examine a few duties which we as Christian men have. God gives us clear direction of several duties. Keep an eye out for my next few posts.
Here’s a shot from my Army days while I lived under that last oath.
Until the Whole World Knows,
Paul
Dylan Thomas was a poet from Wales in the first half of the 20th century. Most of us know him from Michelle Pfeiffer’s Dangerous Minds, a movie from 1995. In the movie, the students are required to find a comparison between Dylan Thomas and John Dylan. That’s not what this post is about though. This post is about you and me.
One of Dylan Thomas’ most famous poems is Do Not Go Gently into that Good Night
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rage at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
If someone like Thomas could be so clear that men should stand strong against death, what should we take away from his writings?
I believe that today’s Church has rung the death knoll on masculinity. As some are celebrating it’s death, ushering in a “kinder, gentler” era of the Church, others are mourning the loss of men in the church. Still others, few by any reckoning, are standing up and fighting for manhood. These men are raging against the death. Raging against the dying of the light. Are you one of these men that refuses to let a part of you be killed by some churches that refuse to recognize the need for masculinity and it’s presence in scripture?
I am. I will rage. I will stand tall. And I will not be struck down without 100 men to replace me. As the Church continues to push for a Christian Nice Guy, I will continue to push for Christian Men to be “Good” before they are “Nice”. There are times when to be good, we can not be nice. This is not the message shared in the churches I grew up in, and it is not the message shared by many Sunday School teachers and pastors. A nice response is to step aside while others destroy biblical masculinity. A good response is to show the masculinity that scripture shows us.
A few years ago, I participated in a class called Journeymen. This class focused on becoming biblical men and taught 4 main points to biblical manhood. It’s time I share those here.
Following these 4 points is what all of my writing here is about. And I will not go quietly, or gently.
Until the Whole World Knows,
Paul
P.S. – Over the last few weeks, I have felt increasing spiritual warfare. This is my answer. My answer is to cry out with righteous rage, “I will not go quietly, and I will continue the fight!”
Hardcore Christian Men 